We got so high we made milksteak
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
