She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
