Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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