I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
NoShamevember. You game?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
