no, he came in my armpit
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
