Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Blood and glitter go together right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
