God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
