i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
