so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
