I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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