Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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