Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
