Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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