I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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