would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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