if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
