Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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