I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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