My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
