seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
