the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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