so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
