Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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