he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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