You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
