No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
