Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
