well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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