just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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