i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
