I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
