I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
