the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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