i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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