but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
