So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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