Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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