I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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