Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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