Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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