Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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