The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
