i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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