working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
