She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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