i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
