Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
