how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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