I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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