it was like his penis was on wheels.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
True strength comes from lack of pants
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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