They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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