Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
