More tranny stories later!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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