she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
