I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You were trust falling into bushes
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
