I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize