It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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