last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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