I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
